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Wednesday 30 October 2013

First date with gynae.


Minggu lepas MIL (mother in law z:p)  tido dekat umah dua malam. Huhu. sebab FIL pegi memancing dengan abg ipar and abang lang Sadoa. Memancing di SuratThani. En suami ketat2 mau pigi tapi nanti sape nak keja. Hehe. Sembang dengan MIL pasal sakit aku nie. (ade tulis dalam entry lepas) Dia pon suggest suruh pegi jumpa gynae. Nanti dia nak tolong bawakkan lagi :p pagi tadi suami tanya nak pegi tak. Segan pulak nakg dengan MIL. Huhu mau pegi dengan asben jugak. Dah tue siap2 sume dalam 2.30pm bertolak la dari rumah ke Kedah Medical Centre (KMC). Dekat nak sampai ade plak dua orang laki dok bertumbuk  tepi jalan, hais xde keja. Sorang naik myvi sorang pulak Mini Cooper. Tah Mende sampai tergolek atas jalan.

Cuaca agak mendung berangin tadi, pastu hujannnn.. Masuk dekat kaunter pendaftaran 1 floor, nurse tanya nak jumpa doktor biasa atau pakar. Aku cakap pakar, then terus naik 3 rd floor reg dekat sini. Nurses kat sini comey lotey belaka. Hehe.. Dia bagi la senarai gynae, of course la aku nak doc pompuan, reg 3.30pm.. Almost 4.30pm baru panggil. Lama jugakkkk menungggu nie haaaa..

Pastu panggil Nama. Pfftt ingat nama aku tercicir. (Nak marah dah nie.) hewhewheww. Masuk bilik doktor dah senyum. Aku malu pulak. Segan oi first time kot jumpe gynae. Pastu cerita la ape yang berlaku. Potpetpotpet.. Blablablabla.. Point dia irregular period. Hehehe. Lupa nak citer nama doktor nie. Nama doktor pakar nie Dr Che Hatikah bt Che Hanafi (Obs&Gynae)  Baik, lemah lembut, cakap macam mak2 kite la. Hehe. Siap check up.. Lepas tu doctor suruh wat UPT. Siap UPT. Doktor suruh baring atas katil. Sebab nak check dalam plak camne. Kena salin seluar. Atoiiiiya Malu giler. Dah siap baring aku tengok la doktor pegang alat panjang. (TVS) Hahaha. Dia letak cecair dekat batang..lepastu bubuh kondom. Xnak bagi kotor kot sebab aku bleeding lagi. Ya ampun, lutut punya tutup rapat siap mengigil ag sebab Malu. Dah la sejuk kemain. Doktor siap cakap, suruh cool rilex. Orang nak tengok kite punye, ko giler xmalu. Huhu hihi TVS ini ialah, scan untuk tengok kite nie ade telur atau tak dan berapa biji telur yang ada. Dinding rahim tebal ke x.. Ade masalah ape..Ape je boleh tengok.


Ghuper TVS.



  Procedures


Tengok dekat screen monitor tue, doktor bagitau rahim aku bentuk puah pear. Kecik je. :D Alhamdulillah normal. Lepas tue doktor tunjuk keadaan dalam belah kiri rahim, nampakla satu cyst kecik je. Doktor cakap normal buat masa skang sebab kecik. Mungkin akan pecah untuk period akan datang. Atau mungkin membesar masih belum dapat dipastikan. Lepastu tala pulak ke rahim belah kanan aku.. Tue lah tempat yang sakit sangat. Doktor kata ada nampak bengkak sikit. (Tangan aku pulak dok kalut tarik kain putih takut doktor tengok tutttt) Malu ooooooo.. Doktor jugak cakap rahim aku tengah tebal skang and ade telur satu. Dah bleeding so nak buat camna :p

Lepastu, doktor masukkan ape tah pulak..aku nampak la sesuatu bentuk panjang. Suruh aku rilex sekali diJACK nye kat dalam. Terangkat kepala aku. Huhuhu sakit nak giler. Dia check sekeliling, Alhamdulillah normal melainkan cyst kecik satu tue jela.. Dah siap sume aku salin pakai Seluar balik.. Phewwwwwww..

Aku duduk di kerusi mengadap doktor. Doktor cakap xde masalah, insyAallah. Melainkan bengkak skit and cyst kecik je. Aku nie maybe stress atau hormon Kacau sikit je. Aku nak tau dah tue kenapa bleeding lama sangat. Then doktor syorkan aku buat blood test kerana aku explain aku sakit perut senak tak henti2.. 

Doktor bagi beberapa jenis ubat. Macam Biasala untuk stabil hormon DUPHASTON ambil direct 3minggu then stop. Nie rupa dia. And TRANEXAMIX ACID untuk kurang kan kesakitan aku.





Doktor bagi date untuk next appointment untuk tengok hasil blood test dan tengok keadaan cyst aku camne. Siap buat blood test dekat lab. Terus ke kaunter ambil ubat. Bayaran hamboiiiiiiii  kata suami aku 'mekelan tekak dengar kena bayar bape' huhuhu..

Ok tue jela takat arini. Nanti next appointment aku update pulak. K tadaaaaaaaa

Tuesday 29 October 2013

slowly fading away?

Why do things never seem to go right for me?
Why am I always made to feel so wrong?
Why am I always betrayed?
Why is it always by the ones I love?
Why can't someone just see me for who I am?
Why am I always alone?
Why do I never seem to be good enough?
Why can't I seem to find 'the one'?
All these question I have hope will be answered one dah.
Then I won't have to always be asking.

WHY?

lonely lover.

Sunday 13 October 2013

Just Like Seasons.. People Change :'(

Hope keeps girls alive. This is the absolute truth. But I am tired of living only with hopes. Only if I had more will. I am week.. I am very weak and tired. Tired is the right word for what I felt just now. I often used the expression 'I am sick of this' but that is not true. It just sounds louder. It sounds like a whiplash. 

But the truth is that I am infinitely tired. I am tired of lies, of cheating , of bluffing, of hot tempered, of sweet talking, of jokes, of bragging, of screaming, of yelling even of relationship. But love made me weakest. It is as if it sucks my blood, melts my anger.

Maybe love is something sent to me from Allah, because it really makes me a better person (yeah I know I am not) 

But I cannot be with love. And what is love really (this word is even uncomfortable to write here). Love is to listen to the bird songs, but the music in your head is much better. To feel the sun burning your skin. But to know that your heart is warmer. To understand how big the sea is, but to know your heart can hold two thousand seas like that. To breath in the clear mountain air and again to know, that your heart is purer. Because you love. Because you adore. Because you want. Because you like. Because you need him. 

The object of your desires doesn't even suspect how much he has given you, even when he doesn't care about you at all. So that is the reason people who say that unshared love kills, are not right. Jyeahhh, not right!

It is beautiful to love. Not someone but to only love. Your heart overflows, fills you up. It is as if you are ready to fly away with the lightest breeze and to run on the grass. Not bending or harming even one stem. 

I feel almost the same way now, but I am bad.  Because I am unable to love LOVE itself. There is a place in my heart for friends, families, animals, the world, the whole nature..and my mom :') .. But without a doubt some idiot (from the opposite sex) takes the leads.  And he serves me with a seat on the front row of 'goodness' (hell no). I hope u choke on every word you spoke to people.

This isn't just a joke or a silly word. Thank you. Nevertheless, blessed and contented. Thank you Allah.